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"I'm not ready for a relationship now."

He said it. He's right.

And you're not ready either, dear heart, in fact, you have a lot of work to do and if you're not willing to do it for your sake then there's no use.

It's going to be so hard. I don't know how to start. Where to start. I don't remember what I should be like. They don't like me whenever I start to change.

But I do have too much up in my head to even seriously entertain the thought of being with someone. I need to get myself sorted before I hazard up and drag someone else down with me.

I still like him quite a lot. And care for him, obviously. I just want to hold him for now. Be there for him. Is it silly?

These people our age don't understand, I think, but I could be completely wrong. Would they understand if I said we weren't going out because neither of us were really up for it now? But I'm not just about to abandon the lot of it either, y'know? All we have is now, so I'm going to take it.

Of course, maybe he just doesn't like me at all. Maybe I'm just a convenience.



(But we're still going to try and we're still breathing, so get up and get those fists back up. The ring won't wait for you.)